Reindeer Conspiracy
by Cameron Grant
Summary: Kristoff has committed an unforgivable crime... or at least unforgivable by Ana's standards. He is now left at the mercy of her judgement, and who knows what it may bring? I'm planning a second chapter, but only if the first does well.
1. Chapter 1

"Ana, don't do this," Kristoff pleaded as he sat tied to a chair with Ana pacing around him. She had kidnapped him and held him hostage here; in an empty cavern. "It doesn't have to be this way!"

The girl glared at him with gleaming red eyes.

"Oh, but Kristoff, it does," she sneered, and then gradually began to cackle. "Oh, Kristoff! It does!" She threw her head back and cackled some more.

The poor blond boy shook his head in confusion. "Ana, I'm not even sure what it is I _did. _If you're going to punish me, at least tell me why!"

Ana furrowed her eyebrows and glowered at her victim. "As if you don't know, you dolt!"

"Ana, I've already told you. I _don't _know. Please just _tell _me!"

"Bah! Rubbish! It shall be straight to the death with _you,_ you defenseless scumbag!"

Kristoff stared at Ana's fuming face gloomily. This truly was the end, wasn't it? He would never return to his Love Expert friends. He would never continue work at the ice-cutting business. He would never grow old with his trusty reindeer.

Wait...

"Sven!" Kristoff yelped. How could he have forgotten his most dearly loved friend? He must be tied up outside somewhere...

"Silence, fool!"

"But my reindeer-"

"SILENCE!" Ana's manly voice boomed throughout the cavern. "After all you've done, you have the _nerve _to come in here and bring up... _reindeer_!"

Kristoff was baffled. What did she mean?

"What do you mean?" he demanded, but Ana only glared at him some more. The glaring was beginning to become excessive. He was starting to notice Ana's lip hairs when she pursed her lips like that, and to be honest, they were rather attractive lip hairs, but Kristoff found it in his best interest to keep his mouth shut.

"_WHAT DO I MEAN?!" _There was that manly voice again. "I mean that you can't just go around with a campaign that states that reindeer are of higher intelligence that humans!"

Kristoff gaped. _When _had he done _that_? _  
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"_When _did I do _that?" _he inquired.

Ana crossed her arms.

"The song. The freaking _song. _In that Disney movie, remember? I've read the original script. All you were supposed to do was fall asleep in some hay with a reindeer. But _noooo. _You just _had _to go off with your root-tootin' self and turn it into a musical number. And not only that, but you advertise humans as lowly and unimportant. I believe the name of the song was, ah, _'Reindeer are _Better _than People'_?"   
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Kristoff winced.

"Ah, I was only-"

"Only _what?_" Ana blurted. "Only pioneering the roots of a twisted conspiracy? You have taught _millions _of children that they are of lesser value than a deranged donkey!"

"Reindeer, actually..." Kristoff mumbled. Ana frowned and gave him a smack in the face, which really made him want to keep his mouth shut.

"I simply _cannot _believe that a cotton-headed ninnymuggins such as _yourself _could _possibly ever _influence the minds of such innocent children! Are you AWARE of what I received in the mail today?"

Kristoff raised his eyebrows.

"Ah, no. Lucky for you, I don't spend my free time reading other people's mail."

Ana struck him across the face again.

"NO, you dimwit! THIS!"

From her pocket she revealed a crayon drawing probably done by a small child. It depicted a stealthy reindeer trampling a helpless young girl to death while in a bathtub.

The shocked young ice cutter scratched his head. Or at least he would have, had his hands not been tied so very rudely behind his back.

"I never said anything about a bathtub! Listen to the song! No bathtub whatsoever!"

Ana let loose a terrifying scream, which surprisingly sounded somewhat masculine. Hmm.

"Don't you _see?" _she wailed. "The child has already been so scarred! His poor little mind has been twisted so much that random outbursts of bathtub don't even come across as abnormal to him! And guess who's fault this is!"

He rolled his eyes.

"Let me guess..."

"YOU! It's YOU, the Evil Lord Kristoff!"

Kristoff smirked. Oh, Ana...

"THIS is no joke!" Ana roared.

"Of course not!" squeaked a voice that was neither Kristoff nor Ana's. The two of them froze. Ana slowly turned around and scanned the room cautiously, in hopes of finding the eavesdropper.

"Show yourse-" Ana began, but she was interrupted by a drop of freezing water that fell from the ceiling and landed smack in the center of her nose.

_To be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm not surprised that a peasant such as _yourself _would ever possibly find humor in such a tragic turn of events." The squeaky voice that had spoken only moments before spoke again as its owner emerged from the shadows; a squat sculpture of snow with a nose of carrot.

The figure regarded Kristoff with a cold stare; his icily generic eyes boring into his soul.

The ice cutter gasped.

"No..." surely this wasn't...

"Ah, but my young blond friend, it is. The one you fear most. The one who haunts your dreams and chills your skin. The one a and only... Olaf."

The snowman chuckled. But it wasn't an ordinary chuckle. No, _this _chuckle was one of pure hatred. Of disgust. Of... evil.

Kristoff's only desire was to shrink into a hole and never be seen again. BUt he knew that this was the time to face his fears. This was the time to face... Olaf.

"You don't frighten me, you wretched man of snow!"

Olaf folded his stick arms and glared at his opponent. Kristoff yearned to know what the frozen man was thinking... but he would never know.


End file.
